Last Monday, while trading free time for some make-up classes, the first snowfall in Suwon fell. I pressed my hazard lights …. moved closer to the side of the road …. and stopped driving for a while. I decided to stay inside the car and enjoyed watching those tiny white flakes gently fall …. then spread …. and melt on my car’s windshield.
I felt the cold spells that night and thought that I should have followed my mom-in-law’s lead ~~~ to stay warm with those toasty mittens and fluffy mufflers. My heart skipped a bit and a smile came next.
"Tomorrow is going to be a nice day," I snapped to myself. Despite the puddles and the season’s normal temperatures below zero, I am sure that tomorrow will never be a mundane day.
I turned the CD player on, my headlights off and decided to give my husband a call. He said that he’s on his way and begged if I could wait for him at the bus stop. While waiting for him, I gazed in awe watching the tiny white star shape designs fall and slightly cover my car. The music is in harmony …. then I began to see things from a different perspective.
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It all started a month ago when I got myself in a tricky situation. It saddened me greatly. I thought I had already lost a special friend. She is very special! I could pour my woes to her and confide to her of worldly and personal matters (spiritual sometimes). However, I noticed that too much of a good thing can eventually cause tiffs. Spending too much time with someone can be overwhelming …. and people who are always together can end up annoying each other.
We met by chance, a couple of times, for fleeting moments. There was this awkward silence and on catching sight of each other ~~ I froze up! Though burning with curiosity of what went wrong, I could not even pluck the courage to ask her for a talk. How I wished we could just rekindle our relationship by casting away our preconceived ideas. It’s difficult, though. I woke up most of the time not feeling or looking my best. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hang on and I always felt like shouting, " That’s not right and I will never, never stand for it!" I believe that it is okay to be forceful sometimes. I tried to look back …. sorted out exactly what I was feeling for I never really want to hang on to this strange feeling anymore. Then, it clearly went to me …. that people change …. and I can’t expect everybody around me to be any different. We are all in search of a true relationship. I know I haven’t lived enough to know that there is no such thing as a "perfect person," but I know that there is such thing as relationship where strengths compliment each others weakness.
It is time to face the music. Why slink away from all those nagging issues? I will never ever lie down again and beg the earth to swallow me up for there are always people out there …. willing to walk along with me and accept me for who I am.
A very dear friend told me to just let go of my emotional baggage …. and it helped! I am happy to say that I had already gotten over this pique …. finally !!!
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Well, it was still snowing but the flakes didn’t stick around long. It got colder and the crisp cold feeling gave my nose a pinch. Then, a knock on my car’s door surprised me. It was my husband. His smile warmed my heart and whispered that we should just go home ~~~ enjoy our music, snuggle with our kids and stay cozy in our room.
It’s winter! A season that represents a humble heart in warming others. A season when we can all reshape our cold hearts ……..
" If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant. If we did not sometimes taste adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." - Josh Billings -
